Life is Nutts

Try New Things...it's Fun!

2010-06-27T10:44:00.000-07:00

Husband and I, well, we're a little on the crazy side. We proudly refer to ourselves as hippies... we love the green, and we're kind of on the free-thinking side of life. Not when it comes to morality and our faith, but when it comes to going against the flow.... trying not to do things just because 'everyone else is doing it.'

Our hippie-ness has led to a very bright home. Color-wise. Our kitchen is purple with old 70's orange counter top, a golden dining room and a green, light seafoam-ish living room.... I know is sounds absurd, but really, it's fun and elegant in its own way. The bright is accented with black and white randomly placed here and there. I'm not one for the neutral colors.... I like them, they look beautiful in other people's homes, but I think it would stifle the creative genius in my brain that is fighting to release itself....

I've been on a kick to get new things put up and finished, the little things like pictures on the blank walls, knick-knacks on the shelves, etc. So, we decided to paint our hallway because it was so boring and bland still. Our house is in the shape of a square so the hallway opens up to both the dining room and living rooms, which are connected to each other. So, I decided to paint the hallway blue... and I don't mean a light, calming blue, it is BLUE! BLUE!!!! A very bright, not matching, carnival fun house kind of blue...actually Husband says it looks like a 'Saved by the Bell' blue, it belongs in a high school girl's room. So, I tried painting some designs in black to see if we could save it...

Needless to say, we repainted it last night to orange. And yes, I know orange doesn't sound any tamer than the crazy bright blue, but in our house it actually goes with the color scheme instead of totally working against it. And now, we love it instead of going, 'I kind of like it, do you, I don't know, maybe not...'

All this to say, TRY NEW THINGS!! It's fun. I would have always wondered what a blue hallway would have looked like had I not tried it. A boss that my husband once had told him,

"You always have the rest of your life to never try it again."

So, give it a try! If it doesn't work, there's always orange paint.

GROW!

2010-06-23T20:26:00.000-07:00

Be careful what you pray for.

Seriously.

Husband prayed last year for patience and endurance. I know that I learned both of those through my pregnancy. And I'm continually learning them through motherhood.

I tend to pray for growth. He sure is growing me. I feel stretched to the limit, for sure! But, then as I think about it, life would be boring if we weren't growing. If we never had to rise up against new challenges, or take on new responsibilities. That's how God is growing me. Responsibilities. A youth group and a baby, He's trusted me with both at the same time. With His precious children. He obviously thinks that I can handle it. But it is taking some growth and stretching on my part to be able to handle all this the way He wants.

So, the lesson I learned today, if I don't turn to the One who has led me here, I'm going to wilt. If I sit in His light, I will blossom and grow and the colors of my petals will be vivid and extraordinary.

Road Less Traveled

2010-06-02T06:58:00.000-07:00

This week on Wishcasting Wednesday we are asked a seemingly simple question:

What do you wish to know?

There are so many things I wish to know. I think the biggest one on my mind right now is how to take the high road. How do I be the bigger person? Because I truly wish to, but avoidance isn't going to do any good.... and I'm afraid if I encounter a certain person today then I will for sure not be able to take the road less traveled. So how do I handle a sticky situation with poise and grace?

I guess if we all could figure that out, the world would be a much more peaceful place to live.

ENERGY!

2010-05-24T05:23:00.000-07:00

I knew I was tired when I was a pregnant woman, but I'm just now beginning to realize how tired I truly was. I feel like a brand new being, up early, and not due to heart burn, actually accomplishing things around the house and getting really pumped for the things I have to get done today.

We are at the end of my second year as an official 'youth minister' and it has been quite a ride! Challenging, but rewarding all the same. I have watched these kids grow so much and fall so in love with the faith that I almost can't handle it! Last night was our last night for the high school and the things they told us they've learned....it makes me happy to know that we as a team were able to help them grow in the most important aspect of their lives....

I can't wait for Wednesday to see what my middle school kids have to say!!! Those are the kids that really surprise you!!

All this to say that even with having a baby in the middle of the year, or maybe especially because of that, the year went by WAY too fast! I've fallen so in love with these kids and the volunteers that teach them. I may think that God gives me too much responsibility, but I feel so incredibly blessed that He trusts me with such an important and life-giving job.

Just like I told the kids last night, it's soul-feeding to do what we do.

Wishcasting Wednesday: Movtivate

2010-05-19T20:23:00.000-07:00

Today is Wishcasting Wednesday!!! And since I'm trying to keep up with my blog, I want to answer today's question: What do you wish to have?

There are so many ways to answer this question. In fact, as I'm typing I have no clue what I do wish to have... I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful daughter, and a job that allows me to be a mother to her....

I"VE GOT IT!!!

Motivation, I wish to have motivation. You know those people that can get out of bed during the summer break and go non-stop until they go to bed and by the end of the day they've built and entire castle, decorated said castle, and had their first ball in the ballroom of said castle all before noon so they can take a leisurely swim in the moat in the afternoon all to get antsy and go run a marathon?

Yeah, I'm married to one of those people and I often wish to have that kind of self-motivation. I guess I should stop using excuses and get my butt out of bed sooner so that I have more hours in the day to use... That and get unaddicted to the internet again.... Neither of which sound too terribly appealing. But, self-motivation, I can work on that. Maybe the motivation is there, but the discipline I am lacking.... Who knows.

Hey, I'm blogging again, that's a step in the getting my soul back and getting motivated direction.... We will see.

Sunday Drive

2010-05-16T10:30:00.000-07:00

Today is Sunday. A day of relaxation, for the most part. We like to attend Mass on Saturday evenings to give ourselves a day to sleep in. And it. is. glorious. Late breakfast of burritos and homemade hot sauce (salsa for those of you from not around here..) and freshly ground coffee all while listening to the coos of our sweet baby girl.

Husband is still spinning with excitement from his first CD being out and he got his first internet sale last night! Our house has been invaded with piano meditation paraphernalia and thoughts on marketing and really, the house has exploded with excitement of dreams being fulfilled and future dreams are being conceived. It's inspiring to see someone's dream cone to fruition and actually see so much positive response from others.

So, I have decided that I should do the same. Maybe that's why I've been back into the blogging world. To start unleashing the artist within. To let myself create. To color world with vibrant thoughts and big dreams.

I've been reading other blogs and sites and trying to connect with other bloggers around the globe, and one thing that really gets the passion to flow is knowing that there are other people with the same types of dreams. Many of those dreams become reality, and all because we take the time to connect and support and throw our dreams into a big pot so that somehow they become a melded giant ball of dreams and goodness. And with the combined dream, we can all partake, have a piece of the confetti cake with rainbow chip icing. Man, is it delicious and soul-healing.

So, for today, feed your inner-self: Take a Sunday Drive.
Not necessarily an actual drive, but take 10 minutes to relax. Spend time enjoying the family. Eat something amazingly delicious. Take a walk. Do something that feeds your soul.

And, check out pianomeditation.com. Share a piece of the dream.

8 Small Things

2010-05-14T08:09:00.000-07:00

Today I decided to play along with my friend from The End of my Rope who plays along with Magpie Girl. Today's project: list 8 small things you are grateful for, and seeing as I need to get out of this black mood that seems to match the dreary weather outside, here I am.

And here are 8 small things I am thankful for:

1. Being sandwiched between the two loves of my life. (The husband and the kid.) Nothing can make you feel more loved than that!

2. This amazingly delicious steaming cup of freshly ground coffee.

3. Being able to take a jog last night. The first of many since Evalyn was born!

4. Baby cuddles. They never get old for me. Hopefully they won't ever get old for her, either!

5. Being Catholic.

6. Scrabble with the husband. (Mostly because I'm winning this time. ;) )

7. Living among a community, and actually knowing people. It's a nice change from the nomadic life I held before.

8. Thoughts. Being able to think for myself.

What are you thankful for?

The Goal of our Faith

2010-05-13T18:42:00.000-07:00

1 Peter 1:8-9

"Although you have not seen him you love him; even though you do not see him now yet believe in him, you rejoice with an indescribable and glorious joy, as you attain the goal of [your] faith, the salvation of your souls."

The goal of our faith, the salvation of our soul.

We have faith, and we believe, and there is a purpose. It is not to throw it in others faces or to condemn. It is not to induce judgement or to be boastful. Our faith is not intended to give us an air of superiority.

Our faith, its sole purpose, is the salvation of our souls. To grow closer to Christ now so that we may live with Him eternally. So that we may love one another now so that we can soak in God's love in Heaven. To glorify Him in all that we do so that we may one day see first hand His amazing glory.

This is the goal: The salvation of our souls.

Goals and Deadlines

2010-05-06T15:52:00.000-07:00

I have learned that without specific goals I get nowhere. Not only do I need goals, but deadlines are helpful. I guess that's procrastination at its finest. So, I'm trying to set definite goals. Like blogging every day to help my creativity flow. So, here I am, blogging so that maybe I can let out some of the creative tension that's starting to build up inside my soul. I can tell this is happening because Husband has looked at me the past two nights and said, "Have you blogged lately?" He knows it's my creative outlet. And he encourages it. Makes me love him even more.

But, alas, I have drifted off topic. Goals and deadlines. Another goal that I am going to set for myself is that I write and article for Helium once a day. Well, every weekday. This way, even if they are of poor quality to begin with, they will hopefully grow as I write. If I never feed my creativity, it will never grow...

It's a pretty hefty goal, but I believe I can do it!

Motherhood

2010-04-26T12:55:00.000-07:00

Once again I've been absent for too long from the blogging world. With good reason, but still I think my soul is starting to rot without my creative outlet. So here I am.

I have so many things to write about and I just don't know where to start. Having an infant in the house does interesting things to a person't psyche. Which I knew going into this, but I don't think I KNEW... Everything from the interrupted sleep, to the cries of hunger (hers and mine), to the never-ending flow of laundry and diapers to that stupid nose-sucker-thingy... (Evalyn and I both despise it, her more than I.) But that's not the part that messes with your brain. The part that messes with me is that I actually enjoy it all. I love it... all the gross stuff that I want to hate. I guess superhuman-mom powers really do get born with the baby. What else would explain it?

Well, it's either that or the delirious state that I'm in from exhaustion... I'm not sure which...

Methodical Madness

2010-03-26T04:38:00.000-07:00

So, here I am, up bright and early for a change. And, can I tell a secret? I kind of like it. It's peaceful, tranquil, and it makes me think that I may actually have a productive day! I laid in bed for an hour before I finally got up. All I could think about was all the projects I want to get accomplished today. Starting with breakfast for Husband. Of course, it's still too early to start that, and I had an itch to write. Just simply write. And seeing as I can't (or maybe don't want to) hunt down my journal, here is where I turn.

I just caught up on the blogs that I have neglected to read due to my absence from the blogging world... and one of my favorites was my brother's. I don't know why, but it really gave me a chuckle. Well, if you knew my brother you would understand! And, from it sprang a fun phrase for me to meditate on.... Methodical Madness.

Methodical Madness.... I think that is the order in which God lives by. Everything on our end seems like madness, but for Him, oh there is definitely method behind it. Like 9 + months of pregnancy, or meeting the man you're going to marry and then not dating for 4 years, or giving someone like me the responsibility of an entire youth program at a parish, or free will.....

The list could go on and on and on. And as I look back on what I just wrote, a lot of them are ways in which I think God is teaching me patience. I really wish Husband would stop praying for that. ;) The point (if there is one) is that what is on the outside, the nuttshell, if you will, is only harvesting something much much bigger and better, the fruit or the nutt of life...
All the things we see that we can't find a reason to, well, it's there, we just may never know what it is.

Hmmm I wonder if that analogy will make any sense when I come back and read that tomorrow....

Here's to a day filled with blessings and love. And productivity.

The End

2010-03-25T11:56:00.000-07:00

I've always heard the last few weeks of pregnancy can really be a drag. I'm really trying not to see it that way. Of course, I have reached the point in which I just don't believe that a baby is actually in there.... and Husband said he reached that point this morning. I really have convinced myself that I will be 400 pounds with a 4 year old in my uterus... Might make a good TV show.

I've decided to make a list of everything I have done that I wouldn't have if I didn't have a baby to wait on:

Found a great little antique/ flea market in Levelland
Started blogging again
Cleaned and organized the house in like and hour (I felt like I was on speed that night)
Sat at the goosepond (a pond in Levelland geese visit in the winter) on the one gorgeous day we had this week
Haven't gone to work in 2 weeks
Missed a great concert (it was 2 1/2 hours away)
Got addicted to Live! with Regis and Kelly, along with The View
Spent part of Spring Break with my mom in town (missed going anywhere for Spring Break)
Still sitting in PJ's at 1 in the afternoon (shower soon to follow this post)
Sit around wanting excruciating pain to start (seems a little crazy)

And here is a list of all the things I will get finished today due to this kid staying cozy:

Finish the pajama pants I started to make for Husband and I
Clean the house again
Make Husband dinner
Hang out with the bestie? (I should call her...)
Go to work for 30 minutes to finish some things I need to finish
Pray

I think if I add anymore on to the list I won't get anything finished and then I would be really sad... So, here's to a productive day!!! Wish me luck!!!

Wishcasting Wednesday: Take a Break

2010-03-24T03:10:00.000-07:00

Today is Wishcasting Wednesday. And I have been so absent from the blogging world that it took a lot for me to come back even though it is so relieving whenever I post. So, I am re-emerging myself into this space, with quite a question from Jamie this week.

What do you wish to take a break from?

Hmmm.....

I'm actually tired of taking a break. I haven't been to work in a week and a half and I don't really want to go back. Being around people right now is so taxing.

I guess you could say that I want to take a break from being on break. I'm ready (ish) for this new change. I'm ready for life to get back to normal. Well, as normal as it can get after a baby is born. I wish to take a break from my own brain, from the waiting, and most of all from my whiny self. But, all that aside, life is life, and I really am blessed with an amazing husband, a great job, a loving family, and that is what I never want a break from.

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

2010-02-12T19:01:00.000-08:00

I don't really know what to write about right now, but I had the inkling to post, so here I am. A relaxed night in the McNutt household. Although, I really need to finish the laundry, finish the dishes, and find some more food... Hmmmm...

This week has been great, but I am going back to the phase of feeling unproductive. Ugh, it's because I haven't been able to sleep less than 12 hours a night. I know what you're thinking, that that is a crazy thing to be annoyed about, but seriously, I wake up feeling like I'm getting nothing accomplished. This morning I actually got up to go to Mass, I ate breakfast with Husband, and then he left for work and I still had almost an hour before Mass. So what did I do? I fell asleep on the couch. Yep, and then I didn't wake up until WAAAAAAYYYY later.... So once again I wasted a morning away, and the crazy thing is I'm fighting to keep my eyelids open right now. Pregnant body is so crazy..... I guess it's just preparing for life with a new baby around. I know I won't be able to sleep at all then....

But, I am blessed enough to be able to sleep in when I need it, even if it is an entire week of it. We'll see how life goes in the next couple of months. It should be interesting for sure!

Signs of a Blessed Pregnant Woman

2010-02-10T19:26:00.000-08:00

Many days I sit back and thank God for the many blessings in life. This past week has been one filled with God's blessings through many different people. I must admit that lately I have been tired and overwhelmed from different things in life, and of course God provides us with more grace and understanding than we can handle. It's a good thing.

Let me start with a co-worker of Wade's. She called and said, 'I know what it's like this stage in the pregnancy, I want to come clean your house.' Um, I would have been an idiot not to take her up on this offer. It made me cry a little, seeing as I hadn't had the energy or willpower to even do the dishes in like 2 weeks. So, we got kicked out of our house and went on a date and got home and the house was spit-shined and amazing! I've never been able to get my floors this clean. Seriously. Blessing #1.

Number Dos: Friends. They are like gold. I have had some great times with some around here lately. From our super short Super Bowl party (a sign that we are getting all growned up.) To the days I get to spend with my new, dear friend Megan. I'm telling you, it takes a true friend to go with you to a breastfeeding workshop when she's not even preggers. Of course, we went to the bead store, Chick-fil-A and looked for Valentine's stuff for the hubbies. It was a relaxing night out. (Although the workshop was simply a joke of a DVD.) Definitely a needed evening of pure joy and fun.

And probably my favorite pregnant blessing of the week (besides the fact that I have life growing within me, that's a constant one, though) is this: the other night I had been so tired, I think I slept on average about 13 hours this past weekend, anyway, I mentioned how great a bubble bath would be. The next thing I knew, my wonderful husband had scrubbed the tub down (although I think it had been scrubbed previously by afore mentioned house cleaning) and then he drew me a nice warm bubble bath, complete with my current read, a hot cup of peppermint tea, and candlelight. It was so relaxing, I think I spent at least an hour and a half in the tub while Husband and Dog were playing on the ukulele. In fact, I think I may repeat that about right now....

May every pregnant woman have as many great people in her life as I do!

Story of Humanity

2010-02-03T19:35:00.000-08:00

It's Wishcasting Wednesday! I'm trying to get back in the habit of writing regularly, so I figured that even though it's late on Wednesday, I should still participate. And what a week to get back in the saddle. Here is this week's question:

What story do you wish to live or let go of?

Where does a person start with that question? It has so many levels and depths to it, just reading the question. And as I sit here and think about it, I don't know which layer to reveal. I think for tonight, both the living and the letting go take me to my ministry. I don't like to refer to it as a job, because it is so much more than that. If it was only a job I would have quit a long time ago.

So the living part...
I want to live the story of a disciple. Maybe the story of St. Peter who was out fishing all day and caught nothing and had the guts to listen to a man who told him to cast the net on the other side. And low and behold, he caught so many fish that his net busted. To have that faith. To just follow that man with no strings attached, that's the story I want to live. Or maybe the story of the woman, known as a sinner, who showed up and washed Jesus' feet with her hair and perfume and didn't care what other people thought. She knew who she was, and she knew who Jesus was, and she acted and lived on that. THAT is the story I want to live. I want to live as a person of faith, as a person who continually tries to show other people the faith, as a person madly in love with my Creator, and letting that love shine.

Actually trying to live that story is another matter, but that's where the letting go comes in. The story I want to let go of, I want to let go of my humanity. I want the divine to shine through. Although impossible, that's what I would like to let go of. Of course, I think that's why we even need faith. It helps us to reconcile our humanity to the divine. It allows us to experience the divine why we are stuck in these mortal bodies, to go beyond the realms of this world, to realize that through our humanity we get to encounter the divine. And there, I have talked that into a complete circle. Maybe I don't need to let go of my humanity, but embrace it. To love it and to acknowledge that with my humanity I get to experience the divine.

So, there's my wish for this week.

To live the story of a broken soul slowly learning to accept my humanity to encounter my God.

SNOW DAY #2

2010-01-29T10:22:00.000-08:00

It's been snowing for two days straight. It's really pretty outside, but I'm totally over being stuck in the house. Which is crazy, really, because on normal days I like being in the house, but I feel like I'm in a really energetic stage right now, and I want to get things done, and being stuck at home is not working out for me. So, yesterday, I figured out how to get the free trial of photoshop elements to function, I played Wii Fit for an hour (it was actually nice to me yesterday, my Wii Fit age was my normal age for once), I made dinner, I read up on photography stuff.... I watched snow fall.... And then I was totally over it. Totally.

So I told Husband that I needed out of the house, let's go drive around. Yes, we can be that stupid. But seriously, the dog and I were both about to start chewing through the furniture. So, we both grabbed our cameras, bundled up, and headed out. The drive was pretty, and of course really slow. But it was enjoyable. I think Godiva and I both just looked out the window the whole driveenjoying a change of scene. We finally got to where we were going. There is a pond that geese migrate to for the winter (didn't do them much good this year) and it is really pretty, especially covered in snow. So, of course right away, I go to get out of the truck, not thinking about the weather and fell on my butt. Yep, right in the middle of the street. And I think it's really funny, but Husband was kind of worried, but really it was not that bad of a fall, except I slammed both knees into the door of the truck..... So that was fun. Then we got the dog out of the car and she almost got run over because Wade and I were both taking pics, not paying attention, and she was just being a dog. But no worries, she's fine. We played in the snow for like 2 seconds, in that short amount of time, I couldn't feel my fingers or my nose, so Godiva and I got back in the truck and watched Husband take pics. I really got maybe 2 pics taken.... But, Godiva and I were both happy because we got out of the house. Well worth the trip in the snow. =)

So today I was hoping for a little of the snow and ice to be gone, instead it came down more. So, I got up early because for some reason I couldn't sleep. I actually got dressed to help my productivity.... I did clean the kitchen, I am working on laundry, and I have a craft project in mind. Sweet dealio! So, here's to snow day #2 and trying to use it to my advantage...

Here is the latest pic we have of Baby Nutt, posted on request. =)

This is like 2 months old, though. But check out the muscles!!!

Prego Progress

2010-01-25T17:55:00.000-08:00

I was told I should blog more about my pregnancy. Mostly because I have all these ridiculous things that continue to happen that I love to blow way out of proportion to create a good story. Actually, that's a lie. I blow them out of proportion because I can tend to be a tad bit dramatic. Stop laughing, I already know it's true....

So here is a story that I think most will enjoy.

Husband and I got a Wii for Christmas. Way fun, and definitely a nice surprise from the in-laws! So, we got the Wii home and realized that we should get a new TV. Mind you, we don't really splurge on things like that, not to mention the fact that I was absolutely adamant about not having a TV in the house. Mostly because I can get really addicted to the crappy TV shows that everyone loves but no one will admit to loving. But, all that aside, we made a trip to Wal-Mart with all of our Christmas money and leftover gift cards. We bought a new TV, a new TV stand (our living room actually looks kind of updated now, well, aside from the mismatched garage sale furniture.) And the best purchase of all, Wii Fit Plus to go with our new Wii!!!

Mind you, this was the one thing that convinced Wade to keep the Wii (when it was given to us, it was given with the reciept so we could take it back if we wanted in exchange for the cash.) So, we have the Wii Fit, and really, it totally rocks. I swear, Wade is getting way buff because he really uses it to work out and stretch his back and such. Not to mention all the really fun games that allows you to be penguins and chickens and get hit in the face with metal cleats without bleeding. It's quite the experience. If you ever come visit, we will for sure make you play. ;)

Anyway, in order to partake in the exciting festivities on the Wii Fit, you must create a Mii character (really fun, actually, our's creepily resemble us). And then with your Mii character you get weighed and measured and have to do all these balance tests. Really great when your not 7 months prego!!! The Wii continually tells me I'm overweight, in which I like to yell back at it that I'M NOT FAT, I'M PREGNANT!!!! Seriously, why is there not a pregnant mode so that when you gain a pound since last time it will celebrate instead of reprimanding you and asking you why you think you gained weight... And then when it doesn't give you the right answer, and you say, "I don't know" it says, "really, you don't know?" I'm not kidding this is my actual conversation with our video game.

And to make matters worse, the balance test results in a 'Wii Age'. A couple years ago I was a couple of years younger than my actual age. Now, because I'm a little top heavy and ginormous in the front, it says I'm like 35. WHAT!?! And then my little Mii character gets this defeated look and shakes her head. All this while I'm standing on the balance board yelling, 'I'M PREGNANT, YOU STUPID THING!!!' And Wade is trying to reassure me that it's really okay and I'm not fat, and that I'm cute and blah blah blah....

Anyway, just one of my many pregnant adventures. =) Really, I love it. And I really am getting huge. I have added this picture to show you. =)

Not to mention, this pic was taken in our nursery, now painted. Check out the process here!!!

Family

2010-01-20T15:47:00.000-08:00

It's Wishcasting Wednesday! Today's question: What do you wish for your family?

First, I have to say that my definition of family has changed drastically in the last 7 months. In a good way. In fact, Husband and I were just talking about this the other day. We both grew up with really amazing families, supportive, faith-driven, and consumed with love. But the other day I looked at my new husband, and I couldn't believe that we are now family. He and I and this little ninja kid inside of me. Not that we aren't part of our 'families of origin' as I've heard it referred to, but we are building our own web of love and protection and support. And this will be the only family that our children know of. It's such a crazy, amazing blessing to be given this responsibility.

So my wish for my new little family is that we continue to grow in love for each other, in love for our God, and that we are able to overcome the obstacles that society throws at us. Such a simple wish, but in reality, growing in love is a hard thing to remain focused on.

My Fairy-Tale Princess Life

2010-01-14T21:19:00.000-08:00

This past week has been a crazy wave of ups and downs. The overwhelming task of starting a new semester, as well as being almost 7 months pregnant has given me the utmost roller coaster of hormonal mood swings. Most of it coming down to the fact that physically I am not what I used to be energy-wise, in-shape-wise, motivated-wise. But, all that aside, the one thing that has come to my mind most of the time all this is going on in my hormone driven head, all I can think is that I truly live in a Fairy Tale Princess World. Let me explain where this came from.

When my amazing husband proposed, it was the most amazing and elaborate proposal I have ever heard or seen of. And I'm not just saying that because I'm biased, at the time I was a "Proposal Specialist" for an engagement ring company and I got to help guys who just bought rings come up with their "Perfect Proposal". Seriously. It was a sweet gig. Anyway, my wonderful husband came up with the absolute most amazing proposal. I deemed it my fairy tale princess world (I'm a complete princess on the inside, it makes me happy.)

Here are some pics to show you what I mean:

The gazebo in my mom's backyard transformed!

He tricked me into putting on my bridesmaid dress. =)

So, thus my Fairy-Tale Princess Life began, and it has not, nor do I think will it ever end. Just when I don't think marriage could get any sweeter, the man I married does something that makes me fall even more in love with him. Whether it be finding a way to make music out of a rubber band and a paper clip, or when he just holds me to hold me. I love being a princess!!!

Our latest family pic, you can't really see the belly in this shirt, but it's there!

Wishcasting Wednesday: SHINE

2010-01-13T15:07:00.000-08:00

Today is Wishcasting Wednesday. =) A day in which a question is posed, and some days difficult to answer. Today was one of those days. I read the question this morning, and for some reason it took all day to figure out. And the only answer I have is this song by DC Talk, it came on the radio today, and it is EXACTLY how I feel today: I WANT TO SHINE LIKE THE STARS IN THE HEAVEN.

iN THE LIGHT
DC Talk

I keep trying to find a life
On my own, apart from You
I am the king of excuses
I've got one for every selfish thing I do

What's going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a Savior

(chorus)
I wanna be in the Light
As You are in the Light
I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh, Lord be my Light and be my salvation
Cause all I want is to be in the Light
All I want is to be in the Light

The disease of self runs through my blood
It's a cancer fatal to my soul
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control

Tell me, what's going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a Savior

(repeat chorus)

Honesty becomes me
[There's nothing left to lose]
The secrets that did run me
[In Your presence are defused]
Pride has no position
[And riches have no worth]
The fame that once did cover me
[Has been sentenced to this Earth]
Has been sentenced to this Earth

Tell me, what's going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a Savior

(repeat chorus 2x)

[There's no other place that I want to be]
[No other place that I can see]
[A place to be that's just right]
[Someday I'm gonna be in the Light]
[You are in the Light]
[That's where I need to be]
[That's right where I need to be]

Growing in 2010

2010-01-08T15:51:00.000-08:00

2010 is here. Life is flying by, but it's amazing. And here I am at a loss for words because I just don't know where to start. So much has gone on in the past few weeks, spiritual growth, growth in family, in my faith in people. Faith in myself.

So maybe I should start with my goal of being Intentionally Passionate as the year progresses. I haven't been as good at focusing on that as I could be, however, I do find myself applying more of myself to the different aspects in life. I want the kids in Levelland, particularly those at St. Michael's to know the love of Jesus in ways that they never could have imagined. And yet, I hold myself back. However, I want you all to know that this is changing. My priest got a hold of me during a meeting and really made me realize that I can do so much more. And he gave me total permission and support to do whatever needs to happen within the youth to help them grow and fall in love with their faith. So, God has heard my voice in wanting to be more intentional, more passionate and He is giving me no choice but to step up and act on it. How good is our God? I'm not saying it's going to be easier, in fact, I have this constant inner turmoil going on in which I'm battling the lazy out of my bones. Seriously. I just want to sit and do nothing, but how is that building up the Kingdom? Yeah, it doesn't, so here's to 2010 and a year of passionate explorations into the unknowns that I've been too scared to dive into. Here's to learning how to make things happen. Here's to growing in love and in faith.

Busy December, In a Good Way

2009-12-27T12:27:00.000-08:00

There has been so much that has happened in the past two weeks, which explains my absence from the blogging world. All the way from actually completing my stockings to a visit to the convent to hanging out for a week in Indiana. All of them have been fantastic, all of them include fantastic pictures, and all of them will have to be a seperate blog on their own.... Next week. When the holidays are simmered down. And life returns to 'normal'.

But right now I am immensely enjoying being around my family, eating way too much, staying up way too late, and having way too much fun! There is nothing like a great Christmas with a great family and a fantastic husband. =) The best part is, we get to see the other side of the family this coming weekend. I'm beginning to forget what my house looks like....

Intentionally Passionate

2009-12-16T12:06:00.000-08:00

It's Wishcasting Wednesday!!! Jamie asks us this week:

What do you wish to give?

Holy Cows. I wish to give myself fully and completely to those around me. To my husband, to my youth, to my friends, to my family, and mostly to the God who created me. I feel like lately I have been slacking in every area of my life. Only half-present at any point in time. Yes, I am definitely ready for Christmas break, and yes, I am exhausted from an incredibly busy, but amazing month with the youth group, but those are not excuses to not not live fully. To not give myself fully.

One of my dearest friends posted on her blog recently about living genuinley bold. It challenged me to figure out how I wanted to live my life for the next year, and beyond I hope. So, I've chosen to be Intentionally Passionate. Meaning, everyday I want to be passionate about what I'm doing, living in the now. Giving myself completely. Being intentional within that passion, directing it to where it needs to go. To the person, or people, to the project, and all of it, hopefully, being directed to our God.

That is my wish. To give myself completely through my intentional passion.

Soul Expression 2

2009-12-12T09:33:00.000-08:00

I just finished the movie Julie & Julia, and oh my goodness, it was amazing. I felt like it spoke to the souls of every woman ever born. Life is all about finding what we love, and letting our souls shine through that passion. Allowing other people in, even if it's scary, or we don't think they will want to. Because, once we open up in unimaginable ways, people are drawn in to the authenticity. They are drawn in to the raw and vulnerable. Why is it that people want to be around real people, but it's so hard to drop the facade? Julie & Julia, both women, in very different time periods were able to open up, and through that they helped other women do the same thing. I love true stories about authentic people.

And, of course, I have to mention that these two women in the movie would not have been able to accomplish what they did without the loving support of their husbands. It's often said that behind every good man is a good woman, but really, that goes both ways. I know for a fact that I would not be able to do anything well without my husband encouraging me the whole way. From growing a fetus to making stockings (a good post for a later day, once they get finished.) But, really, I guess that's what a marriage is supposed to be. Both people finding or growing in their passion with the other one cheering them on the whole way.

I love when Julie's husband gives her the set of pearls. He feeds her dream. And that is what life should be about.

Feeding our dreams.

Peace for the Soul

2009-12-09T08:59:00.000-08:00

My spirit wishes for peace. A peace about what to do next in my job, for my family, for myself. My spirit wishes to be motivated as to actually get something done. If only it were easier to discern what to do next in life. Maybe I could somehow find a tin can and string it to one in Heaven so God can directly tell me.... That would be amazing!

Wishcasting Wednesday

Random Ramblings...

2009-12-08T21:11:00.000-08:00

I survived the weekend! Not only did I survive, but I'm very excited for my kids that got to come. And I will continually pray for the ones that couldn't. Watching kids encounter Christ is such an amazing experience. I love seeing the light bulb come on for some of them, watching them realize that there is more to life than video games, sports, gossip, sex, drugs, all the stuff that hinders them from a healthy spiritual life. Maybe the seeds are getting planted and one day they will take root.

A big thanks to the Texas Tech students who came out to put on the retreat. It kind of made me want to go back to college. Sort of. =) And then I look down at my growing belly and realize that this stage in life has it's own blessings and good times. Almost more so. Baby has been very active the past few days. I guess it's a foreshadow of things to come.

And, my big brother took his firefighter certification test today!!! Go Bradley! We are proud of you! Now move back to Texas!!!

Progress, Not Perfection

2009-12-01T17:34:00.001-08:00

I'm learning many life lessons all at once. Which is good, I guess. The most important one is coming from my newest quest to finish a class by book called "The Artist's Way". This is a book written by a woman who teaches people how to unlock their creative genius. So far, I'm very hooked, but already it's teaching me a lot about myself. One thing that stuck out to me in this current week's lesson is that we should strive for progress, not perfection.

So many times I've let my lack of what I think I should be hold me back. Especially in my job. I am so hard on myself when it comes to doing new things in my ministry. I hold the program back from so many things that would be fantastic for my kids if I would stop being so afraid of failing. I think to myself so often, I wouldn't be able to get kids there if I even tried, or that won't work, or that's too much work to do, or no one will help me even if I asked.

Of course, all these things are so far from the truth, and I continue to believe them. So, my challenge to myself is to step up and push past the fear factor. To actually give us all the opportunity to grow continually in our walk with Christ. To let go of what I think I can't do and allow myself to surprise myself.

Which reminds me, we have a retreat coming up this weekend. Please pray that it goes well and that I can overcome the nerves of hosting something that is seemingly out of my league. Because even if things don't go as smoothly as I want them to, I am progressing in the ministry and doing something I haven't done before. And that is a victory in and of itself!

Spreading Love Blog by Blog

2009-11-20T18:25:00.000-08:00

Three days ago I was given a blogger award. Seeing as I am new to the blogging world, I am quite flattered and the pressure is building on me to keep writing. Which is a very good thing. My best friend from high school has given me this award because we are both on the same journey to unleash our inner childhood dream of writing. Of course, she is scores ahead of me, but maybe some day I will catch up to her. Alisha and I have been through many life-altering events together. Things like senior prom and the high school basketball team all the way to college and marriages and now she is one of my biggest advisors through pregnancy. Thanks, soul twin, for this award and for the encouragement to follow this crazy dream.

So now that this wonderful award has been bestowed on me, I must pass it on to five other bloggers and tell you 6 things you may not know about me. Bare with me because neither one of those will be an easy task for me to fulfill. But that is why it has taken me so many days to finish this assignment. ;)

1. I have a deaf dog. My husband and I love to take advantage of this fact. Hide and seek is fun with the dog, so is walking in the house and getting so many things done without her knowing we're home. And, we love to scare her. It may sound mean, but she just wags her butt at us every time we get her.

2. I am a Catholic youth minister and I love it. Most days. It can get difficult, but that's when I know I'm in the right job.

3. I am madly in love with my husband and I have been since the day I met him. It took us almost four years to get married due to the journeys we decided to take in life, but the wait was well worth it.

4. My whole life I've wanted to be married and have babies. And now that I'm about to have a baby, I'm scared to death. Which is a pretty common emotion to have, I hear, but still it's crazy to think that my whole identity is soon to change once again.

5. I'm such a nerd that a good day off of work to me means that I can finish a whole book from beginning to end without ever having to put it down.

6. I am newly obsessed with taking pictures. Maybe along with writing random stuff from time to time, photography can become a pseudo hobby and one day I can change the world through it.

As for other bloggers, I will get back to you at a later date. No worries, it won't be a way later date, next week. Mostly because I'm going to have to do some research to find some great blogs!!!!

In the Light

2009-11-11T19:17:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when I do a lesson for my kids, I get more out of it than they do I think. I've been meditating the past couple of days on the lesson we just went over tonight. The night was on technology and how we should use it for the good of the world and not abuse it or use it for evil. But that's not really the part that got me. It was this quote by Mother Teresa:

"Words which do not give the light of Christ increase the darkness."

Man, if we are not giving Christ the glory in everything we say and do, then we are increasing the darkness. How often do I say stupid things that are definitely not glorifying the Lord? How often do I do stupid things that take away from what really matters in life?

If we look at the big picture, does what we do in life really matter in terms of eternity, or are we adding to the darkness?

"Live as children of light, for light produces every kind of goodness and righteousness and truth. Try to learn what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the fruitless works of darkness."

- Ephesians 5:8-11

Popcorn and M&M's

2009-11-10T16:04:00.000-08:00

Somethings in life can make you happy no matter what kind of day you're having. Whether you are exhausted from work or a bird pooped on your head or your car died, there are a list of things that make it all better:

Coming home to the love of your life

Cuddling with the love of your life

A greeting from your dog who can somehow bend herself in half at your site

Downing two bags of popcorn coupled with M&Ms

Watching a girl movie you've seen over and over and over

Feeling the kick of life within you

Coloring in a giant coloring book with Crayola crayons

The smell of fresh rain

An entire pot of macaroni smothered in large amounts of Velveeta

Sleeping in

A really good book

A really good bar of chocolate

Holidays with families

Beating your spouse at numerous card/board games

A big cup of hot chocolate with gigantic puffy marshmallows

A phone call from a friend you haven't talked to in ages

A piece of mail that isn't junk or bills

Dancing

A blue jay outside your window

A really long afternoon nap

Baking a cake

Eating said cake

Fresh brownies out of the oven with butter melted on top and milk in a frozen mug

Pretending there aren't calories in any of the afore mentioned food items

Laughing at something stupid until your sides hurt

A stroll through the library

And most importantly, love... love of all things... love of life... love of others

These are a few of my favorite things.

What are some of yours?

Many beginnings...

2009-11-06T19:38:00.000-08:00

These are the beginnings of posts from the past few days. When I went back to edit them, I found them slightly amusing and thought I would share...

Tonight's (it actually has an end)

I have been sitting here wondering what will come next in the blogging world. So many thoughts pop into my head, and yet, not one of them will form itself into actual words. Maybe it's because I'm so exhausted from doing absolutely nothing today. Actually, that's not true, but even before I did anything, I was exhausted. We had a doctor's appointment today, and apparently our little fetus is growing 'perfectly'. Praise God. Let's just hope it stays that way. The little guy (or girl) is definitely strong. It bumps in my belly very often. In fact, last night Wade had a gig and I swear, it was dancing. It's going to be another musician. =) I'm strangely okay with that. So, Baby Nutt is growing strong and healthy and maybe that's why this Nutt is so tired. But, I guess taking part in creation in such an intimate way will take all the energy. Maybe I will have to write more on this amazing experience, but for now sleep is going to win the battle raging in my eyelids....

Humanity (from sometime earlier today)

Every day I get fed up with my own humanity. I want so badly to rid myself of this disease we were all born with. For example, every day I wake up thinking to myself, "Today I will be more productive. Today I will actually accomplish something. Today I will spend more time in prayer." Does any of it happen? Not very often. I'm tired of being tired and I'm tired of the excuse of being tired. Maybe one day I will wake up and actually finish a to-do list, or spend time the time I need to in prayer. Maybe I'll learn that I'm human and that that is okay. But for now, I think I'll just take a nap....

Fetus Mishaps (earlier this week)

I'm not quite sure what to blog about next, but I've been obsessed with writing a new ever since I posted the last one. Life is crazy, and this tiny fetus, well it's not very tiny these days, but it does make life impossible from time to time. I can only imagine what happens when it upgrades to baby status. I told Wade today that pregnant body just kicks my butt some days. Today I had to run an errand to help out one of my Goddaughters. Yes, I've started a collection of them. Anyway, I was hungry, so I decided to stop by Sonic and grab a snack before lunch. Because, seriously, all I want to do is eat most days. So, I decided on a healthy choice of mozzarella sticks and a cherry limeade. I know, not the greatest thing ever, but still, it was good. For about 45 minutes. And then I was sitting in my office and I had what Wade calls 'instant vomit'. Yes, appetizing, I know. At least I have my own little bathroom off of my office. So, needless to say, my day has been shot. I've slept all afternoon and haven't eaten anything but animal crackers, and those haven't even settled yet. Oh, goodness, the little one needs to hurry and grow. Grow so I can birth it. So I can be exhausted and sick in an entirely different way.... And yet, all I can think is that it is worth it. All the crap of pregnancy is worth it to feel the tiny feet waking me up too early, and way worth it to see the look of amazement on my husband's face when he felt the tiny bumps for the first time. Yes, friends. It is well worth every puking minute.

Soul Expression

2009-11-02T11:50:00.000-08:00

Upon reflection of life, I've realized that I have no solid way of expressing my soul. I have a soul, it grows and changes, and slowly is becoming what it's meant to be. But, how does a person express it to the world? Whether anyone else actually seizes the opportunity to see what your soul is all about, there is solace in expressing it.

My wonderful husband is a brilliant musician and quite often comes home with a new song he has written, usually

better than his last. I love it. It's a glimpse inside of him I wouldn't otherwise have. Most of the time his songs are inspired by his latest spiritual reflections and revelations

. And through his music, he is encouraging others to grow spiritually and become who they are supposed to be. In his music, he takes the rest of us to a different, almost better world.

In his music, he allows us to see the beauty in life. Something that can be a very difficult thing to see at times.

And then, there's this woman in my life, one that I have always cherished my time with. My grandmother. My Grannie is one of

the most amazing artists I've ever met. She can paint the most

wonderful, vivid watercolors. My favorite painting that she's

done is my great grandmother at one of my

birthday tea parties. Every year for my birthday, we would have a tea party, and every year my great grandma would show up in her big white hat and ginormous wooden beaded necklace. This painting Grannie did, well, she put on canvas my great grandma's soul. Her very essence. It's a profile shot and she's in her tea outfit. Laughing. Pure joy is actually radiating from the painting. There will be fights over that painting for sure. Within her paintings, my grannie shows the love she

has for family, the faith she has in God, and the beauty of her soul.

Don't let me forget to tell you about another special woman.

One that has just recently showed up in my life. One that shines without even trying. One that after one phone call, I wanted to be her best friend (and yes, I'm aware that everyone who talks to her for

5 seconds feels the same way.) My wedding photographer, Chriselda. She can capture in a lens the beauty of another

person's soul, the love between two souls, the innocence of a

child, and whatever else she's trying to capture. And in that, the woman expresses herself in ways that I wish I could. She loves each and every person she has ever had a camera in front of. She has a captivating personality, that even though I've met her only twice in person, I feel like she's one of my closest friends. Because, in her photo blogs (www.chriseldaphotography.com), her soul radiates and becomes a magnet for anyone who even takes a glimpse at the page.

There are so many more people in my life that are able to express their inner-most being without necessarily even realizing it. I've tried music. Let's just say, I'm praying our children get Wade's talent in that aspect. I've tried being artistic, and in some ways I can be, but I definitely cannot take a blank canvas and create magic.

Thus, my quest begins.

I've decided that I should at leasts begin writing something somewhere other than my journal. Somewhere where it takes a bit of a risk to put my thoughts down. Somewhere that my childhood dream of being a writer can slowly start to shape itself, even if it is only on a small website and the chances of people reading are slim to none. Even if it means people think I'm more crazy than they originally thought (if that's even possible). Even if what you and I find out about me is scary or weird or not worth finding out about at all.

It's worth it to try a new adventure. To see if this may be the avenue in which my soul will release itself. To maybe allow people to see what I've been to much of a wuss to show....